Sunday, October 28, 2018

Lay Your Head On My Chest

Rest now, love.
Lay your head on My chest.

Smell the healing aloe in My robe. 
Breathe it deeply now.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Let its sweet aroma transport you into My presence with each breath.
Let it fill your senses and calm you.
Breathe slowly now.

Feel the rise and fall of My chest with each breath of life.
The breath I breathed into you. 
The breath I breathed into every living creature throughout all ages and through all eternity.
The breath that awakens.
The breath that sustains.
The breath that refreshes.
Let it blow your hair back like a soft breeze on a sunny day.
The breath that soothes and says, “Shhhh...there, there. It will all by okay, my love. I have you.”
The breath that silences storms and waves.
The breath that spoke and created the very world you live in, the very substance under your feet. 
Created by My breath, My words.

And now We sit together in this moment. 
I will suspend time just to sit in a moment with you. 

Together. 


In this secret place is where you will always find Me. Waiting and wanting to be with you always.

Come away with Me, My love.
Lay your head on My chest.

Hear My heartbeat for you. 
Hear how steady the rhythm of love is now.
Constantly drumming and beating for you.
Hear my heartbeat for this world. 
Each beat tells a story of love, of worth, of destiny, of purpose, of chosenness.
Like a soft marching drum, let it propel you into your purpose.

I’m always with you.
Together We can do anything.

But for now...just lay your head on My shoulder and let’s sit awhile.

Just be.
In My presence. 

Be present. 

Your presence means so much to Me.
Did you know that?
I enjoy My time with you.
I am jealous for your love and attention.

Come!
Let’s run to the secret place.
Come away with Me!
Again and again.

Lay your head on My chest and rest in My love for you now.
My beloved.
My bride.
My love.

Come sit with Me for awhile.
Hear My heart for you.
Let Me tell you how I see you.
Let go of yourself now.
Release the words and ideas others have for you.
Let Me tell you how I see you...

You are beautiful.
You are chosen.
I have predestined you before all creation and time.
You were there in My Heart. 
A piece of Me.
I saw you.
Before all time.
I saw you and I knew you.
Then I formed you by hand.
I picked out your spirit to place inside the very breathing body you are in right now.
Your eyes.
Your hands.
Your mouth.
I formed it all.
To My desire.
For My glory.
To be a reflection of Me in this world.

You are a reflection of Me. 
A piece of My heart formed into flesh and spirit.
Alive in this world for such a time as this.

Don’t listen to any voice that tells you otherwise, My love.

Know My voice.
Listen only to your Beloved’s voice.
Filling you with peace.
Filling you with boldness.
Overwhelming you with Love.

This is My Voice.
Recognize it now.
Notice the tones in which I speak.
Notice the Love that fills every word.
Notice the peace in your heart.
Notice how you feel safe in My Presence. 
Notice that fear is absent.
Notice that I speak your potential over you.
Notice that I speak purpose over you.

This is My Voice.
This is My Heart.

Listen.

Listen.

Hear how it beats for you.
Always.

Listen to My Heart for you.

My beloved.
My bride.

Lay your head on My chest.


Rest in My love now.


Friday, August 31, 2018

Breathe On Me

Blow, blow, blow the chaff away.
Clear away the debris that has stacked up in my empty places.
Breathe upon the dust that has settled on my heart.
Make it clean, make it new and fresh—soft and moldable under Your gentle, loving hands.
I surrender my heart to you again, Father.
Only you know what I need.
Only you can keep it safe and whole.
Why do I think I know what I need more than You?
Why do I try to take the reins of my life back again and again?
You’ve proven Yourself over and over.
I trust you, Daddy.
I trust you with my heart.
Even the pieces and the parts I don’t understand.
You are my Maker.
You know every part.
You know me in the deep, deep places I don’t even talk about.
You know me better than I know myself.
What a comfort to know!
You put me together so lovingly...every piece.
You know how I tick, how I think, what I’ll say before any words leave my mouth.
And You love me.
Even when I don’t love myself.
Even when I don’t feel worthy of such a fierce love.
You see my worth.
You remind me of Your goodness—Your Spirit—living and breathing inside of me!
Arrest my thoughts with Your thoughts.
Bend my will to Your will.
Replace my peace with Your peace.
I surrender my strength for Your strength.
Redeem my wrongs for Your glory.
Make beauty from my ashes.
Refill me.
Revive me.
Renew me.
Breathe into my heart until I am fully Yours...


“Then may your awakening breath blow upon my life until I am fully yours. Breathe upon me with your Spirit wind. Stir up the sweet spice of your life within me. Spare nothing as you make me your fruitful garden. Hold nothing back until I release your fragrance.”
Song of Songs 4:16 TPT


Thursday, August 16, 2018

Almost Butterflies

What do you call a caterpillar that is not yet a butterfly? She’s inside her chrysalis—changing, morphing, becoming new. She’s clearly not a caterpillar anymore...but she’s not quite a butterfly yet, either. She is inside herself—changing. Hidden away from the world.

Safe. Enveloped. Held. 

Everything about her is changing, becoming different, becoming new. The legs she used for walking every day are changing. How will she walk now? Something new and different is happening to her. Does she know she’s getting wings? Will she instinctively know how to fly or will there be a moment of hesitation? A moment when she tries to inch along clinging to the ground she knows so well? Will she have to trust herself and take a daring leap before she realizes how to use her new wings? Or will it be a process of attempts and possible failures? How will she know when she’s ready? Will she feel completely different and new? Will she just know she’s a butterfly now? Or will she still feel like a caterpillar made for the ground while trying to figure out how to fly through the air? Does she know this is what she was created for? Does she know she was created to fly? Or will she feel the need to crawl in the comfort of the known? 


What do you call a caterpillar that is not yet a butterfly? I can’t find a common word. Because we don’t talk much about them. They are hidden. We don’t know what is happening deep inside because we can’t see it. But this is where I find myself. 

Hidden away. Unseen. Changing. 

Becoming different deep down inside, becoming new. It’s exciting, yet a bit unsettling. Searching for identity in the in-between. Feeling the struggle and constraints of being in the middle of my process. Knowing soon I’ll have to make a choice—to crawl again or to fly with my new wings.

Oh, little caterpillar, safe in your chrysalis... Your life is about to change. But you are safe right now. 

So be held. 

Know that when the time to fly comes, you will know. You will take a daring leap and find yourself soaring through new adventures—yet still held. 

So rest, little caterpillar. Let Him do the work of metamorphosis in you. Your only job now is to rest and trust. Trust the Hands that are forming you into who you were created to be. Trust He will be the breath under your wings when you take flight into your new tomorrow.

He has never failed and He never will.

You were created to fly, little “almost butterfly.”

I Call Him Daddy

I call Him Daddy.
He smiled and said it would be okay.

It’s a name I never got to use as a child. I’m so glad I get to use it especially just for Him. 

He’s my Father.
I’m still getting to know Him, you know. 
There’s so much to learn about Him. 
So many places in His heart I have yet to visit.

And so we spend time together.
He and I.
Just enjoying each other’s presence. 
He’s always patient with me and my wandering thoughts. He waits until I refocus on Him.

He’s so patient and kind.

I talk about my dreams.
I tell Him how much I love Him and enjoy His presence.
I ask Him to make me more aware of His presence.

May I never forget Who my Daddy is.

He placed the stars in the sky—and He also placed me. 
Right where I am today, at this specific place and time.

He knows how many grains of sand are on the ocean shore—and He knows how many hairs are on my head.

He is weaving and creating universes I don’t even know about or can even fathom.
And He created me. 

He wove me together, intricately and wonderfully, in my mother’s womb.

He can create and make things come alive with His breath. His Word going forth forms worlds.

And He breathes His breath—His very own Spirit—into me and puts His Word in my mouth and gives me authority to create my own worlds with my very own words.

He is my Father.
He is good.
He is Love.
He is the King of Kings.
He is Lord of Lords.
The Creator of the universe.
The Beginning and End.

And I call Him Daddy.

Little me. 

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Tell Me That Story Again

Hey Papa, 
Tell me that story again.
The one You tell so well.

I want to climb up in Your lap today, to hear once more why You created me and just be held.

Tell me how You created each star and placed it in the sky,
And then You created and placed me.
Tell me how You knew my name before all time,
Before I ever came to be me.

Tell me how You formed this world with just a word and said that it was good,
But it needed something else, so You created one me, and smiled from where You stood.

Tell me how You smile when you think about me.
Tell me how You love me unconditionally.

Tell me how You’re walking out before me and making a way,
Tell me I am never lost, never alone, I never have to be afraid.

Tell me how You never change, You always stay the same.
Tell me of Your steady love that carries me every day.

Tell me how You’ve prepared a place for me where we’ll be together someday,
Tell me the plans you have down here, all the things to do before that day.

Tell me that I am enough, You have equipped me for this race,
Tell me all the gifts You put inside of me for anything I might face.

In a world that tells me who I am not or who they think I should be,
Only You can tell me who I am.
So tell me that story again, Papa.
The one You wrote just for me.


Let’s just sit here for awhile longer...

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Held

You walk through all my walls
You stride into my fears

You catch me when I fall
You wipe away my tears

You never fail
You’re always good
You’ll never let me down

When shadows come, I cling to you
I know that they won’t last

When whispered lies gnaw at my heart
You remind me who I am

I run to You
I rest in You
I climb up in Your lap

Hold me, Papa
I need Your love
I need some time away

To just be held
To just be loved
To feel your safe embrace

Saturday, April 7, 2018

The Fighter

Tired.
Attacks coming from every side. 
Weary from fighting.
I saw her.

She had been in the battle for awhile now. 
Downcast, shoulders slumped and head down, she seemed overwhelmed from fighting a long fight.
As I looked closer, I realized—she was me.

Then I saw another version of myself—angry, frustrated and upset with this downcast, beaten version of myself.

I ran at her in anger. 
“What’s wrong with you?! Why can’t you do anything right?! What’s your problem, anyway?! Get up! Do something! Are you just gonna sit there?!!”

I began to push myself around. Each push getting harder and harder until I began punching and kicking myself down.

I saw “me” literally beating myself up. 
To a pulp. 
No mercy.

In anger, frustration and tears I threw each damaging punch. 
I noticed as I was beating myself up, others came in to join the fight. 

“You’re not pretty enough! You’re not skinny enough! Why can’t you be a better mom? Why can’t you be a better wife? You need to make something of yourself! You need nicer things! You’re so lazy! You should be ashamed of yourself! Why aren’t you changing the world?! Why can’t you do something to make a difference?! 
You’re not good enough.
You’re. Not. Worthy.”

The accusations came fast and hard. Blow after blow, she—“I” was reeling and falling. Losing ground and cowering under each blow. It was too much, too overwhelming for me to handle alone. 

Then Jesus came running in.

He charged into the battle and pulled us both up close to Himself.

He wrapped the beaten up, hurt and run down "me" and the angry, hurt and frustrated "me" into His strong arms and held us both close to His heart. 
We were both hurting.

I saw the angry me and how He loved me, right there, in that terrible state. 

I saw the beaten down, beat up me and how He loved me, right there, in that sad state too. 

He showed me I needed to be kind to myself and love myself while I was in a battle. 

He pulled us both together into Himself and began to fight for us. With one powerful blow, He pushed through all the surrounding opposition while “we” were safe and held close to Him.

I surrendered to His love and allowed Him to fight my battle with His power...not my own.

I then saw myself being filled. 

Filled to overflowing. Breaking every chain and stronghold.
I could hear the old “me” snapping and popping off. Like old straps busting away. 

Ping!
Ping!
Ping!

My heart began swelling and absorbing His Presence until every cell was erupting inside of me.

I saw ministering angels coming to my aid. Fighting on my behalf pushing back darkness and strongholds. Tearing down walls to allow His love and power to come rushing in.

I was never alone. I didn’t need to fight my battles alone—in my own strength. I needed to allow Him to do it, though. I had to invite His help.

He rescued me from me...and so much more.

He loves us so much. 
When we are broken—He loves us.
When we feel cast down—He loves us.
When we are angry at ourselves, at our situation, at the world—He loves us.

There’s nothing we can do that will separate us from His love.
Nothing.
Let that really sink in for a moment.
He loves us.
No. Matter. What.
He loves us with the fiercest love that is stronger than anything we might do or think.
He loves us.

So let Him love you.
And be kind to yourself. 
Give yourself grace.
Speak the kind words to yourself that you would speak to someone else in a battle.
Love yourself.
You are in a battle. 
You don’t need to fight against yourself too.
Let Him fight your battles.
All of them.

You are fiercely loved.