Learning to Like Me
I'm learning a lot about myself lately. Maybe it's mid-life, maybe it's the storms I've weathered or maybe I'm just finally getting comfortable in my own skin. But the truth is, I'm starting to like me. That is not a conceited statement, it's just the honest truth and it's taken me a long time to be able to say it. I haven't always been able to. Somedays, it would have been more appropriate to say I hated myself, or I wish I were someone else. You know the saying, "Always be yourself." (Unless you can be a unicorn, then always be a unicorn. I love that.) (I used to collect unicorns when I was little...but that's another story for another day.) Somedays, I'm still just trying to figure out who I am...but I'm growing a little more comfortable with "me" every day.
Some of you may know, I was on a social media fast for 21 days. I learned a lot on that fast. (Actually, I thought about entitling this post "Silence is Golden. Unless You're Addicted to Social Media...Then it's Deafening" but it was a little too wordy and didn't have a nice ring to it.) My biggest take away from my fast? I like to be liked. I felt I needed to be liked. And before you judge me, let me tell you, you like to be liked too. We all want to be liked. There is something inside of us that cries to be noticed, to be loved, to be accepted...to be "liked." It carries more weight in our perception of ourselves than we'd like to admit. That is the beauty of social media...instant "likes!" So, imagine me attempting to live without any "likes" for 21 days! What would I do?
I realized I'll have to just "like" myself.
(Please excuse all the Facebook references. I did fast Instagram and Twitter too. Twitter wasn't that hard though...I missed a whopping 7 notifications in 21 days and 5 of them were from people I don't even know. I feel like Twitter is the equivalent of junior high all over again. You try to say something cool and put yourself out there only to be returned by silence and blank stares...or sarcasm. But at least you get to sit on the side lines and watch what all the popular people are doing.)
"Perfection is an unattainable goal. Learn to live in the messiness of right now." That is what God dropped straight into my heart on my walk yesterday. It was so profound to me. (I actually typed it in my phone the minute I heard it so I wouldn't forget.) Live. Now. But I find I'm always waiting for something. Waiting for conditions to change. Waiting for someone to tell me to do something. Waiting until I'm older. Waiting until I'm bolder. Waiting until I lose some weight. Waiting until I get a promotion. Waiting until...what?! What am I waiting for?
To be perfect.
That is why I never started a blog until now. I was waiting...waiting until I was smart enough, good enough, had enough time. What if I messed up? What if I misspell a word. (Did you know that "misspell" is one of the most commonly misspelled words? I find that ironic...and funny.) What if no one reads my blog? What if I don't have anything to write about? What if I put a comma, in the wrong place? (The misplaced comma is a joke...work with me, people.) I had all these fears. Then I began to ask myself another series of questions. What if I have something to say but I never say it because I was too afraid? What if I can reach others that are struggling with the same things I struggled with, but I don't? What if other people that are doing things in this world started afraid? What if world changers are not perfect, but they're just people like me that finally chose to do something?
I'd rather step out and do something (even if it's not perfect) than to sit and do nothing.
My mother-in-law has a pillow with this phrase embroidered on it: "Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." Every time I read that it strikes a chord in me. I'm that bashful little bird that is afraid to sing because all the other birds sing such beautiful, elaborate songs compared to my squeaky little chirp. How sad is that? And how do we become accomplished at anything in life?
We start where we are. We bloom where we're planted.
On my walk today God showed me this principle through flowers (I'm a visual person, I love parables.) As I was walking, I stopped to look at all the beautiful little wildflowers on the side of the road. (It totally messed up my time, but it was well worth it.) They brought a smile to my face. No one planted these little flowers. They are not cared for, or even watered, but there they are. On the side of a back road where people are moving far too fast to even see them. Where conditions are not perfect. Where people are careless and throw their trash out the window. Where they may get trampled on as people run by in a hurry to go somewhere more important.
But there they are. Beautiful. Blooming right where God put them.
Some of you may know, I was on a social media fast for 21 days. I learned a lot on that fast. (Actually, I thought about entitling this post "Silence is Golden. Unless You're Addicted to Social Media...Then it's Deafening" but it was a little too wordy and didn't have a nice ring to it.) My biggest take away from my fast? I like to be liked. I felt I needed to be liked. And before you judge me, let me tell you, you like to be liked too. We all want to be liked. There is something inside of us that cries to be noticed, to be loved, to be accepted...to be "liked." It carries more weight in our perception of ourselves than we'd like to admit. That is the beauty of social media...instant "likes!" So, imagine me attempting to live without any "likes" for 21 days! What would I do?
I realized I'll have to just "like" myself.
(Please excuse all the Facebook references. I did fast Instagram and Twitter too. Twitter wasn't that hard though...I missed a whopping 7 notifications in 21 days and 5 of them were from people I don't even know. I feel like Twitter is the equivalent of junior high all over again. You try to say something cool and put yourself out there only to be returned by silence and blank stares...or sarcasm. But at least you get to sit on the side lines and watch what all the popular people are doing.)
"Perfection is an unattainable goal. Learn to live in the messiness of right now." That is what God dropped straight into my heart on my walk yesterday. It was so profound to me. (I actually typed it in my phone the minute I heard it so I wouldn't forget.) Live. Now. But I find I'm always waiting for something. Waiting for conditions to change. Waiting for someone to tell me to do something. Waiting until I'm older. Waiting until I'm bolder. Waiting until I lose some weight. Waiting until I get a promotion. Waiting until...what?! What am I waiting for?
To be perfect.
That is why I never started a blog until now. I was waiting...waiting until I was smart enough, good enough, had enough time. What if I messed up? What if I misspell a word. (Did you know that "misspell" is one of the most commonly misspelled words? I find that ironic...and funny.) What if no one reads my blog? What if I don't have anything to write about? What if I put a comma, in the wrong place? (The misplaced comma is a joke...work with me, people.) I had all these fears. Then I began to ask myself another series of questions. What if I have something to say but I never say it because I was too afraid? What if I can reach others that are struggling with the same things I struggled with, but I don't? What if other people that are doing things in this world started afraid? What if world changers are not perfect, but they're just people like me that finally chose to do something?
I'd rather step out and do something (even if it's not perfect) than to sit and do nothing.
My mother-in-law has a pillow with this phrase embroidered on it: "Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." Every time I read that it strikes a chord in me. I'm that bashful little bird that is afraid to sing because all the other birds sing such beautiful, elaborate songs compared to my squeaky little chirp. How sad is that? And how do we become accomplished at anything in life?
We start where we are. We bloom where we're planted.
On my walk today God showed me this principle through flowers (I'm a visual person, I love parables.) As I was walking, I stopped to look at all the beautiful little wildflowers on the side of the road. (It totally messed up my time, but it was well worth it.) They brought a smile to my face. No one planted these little flowers. They are not cared for, or even watered, but there they are. On the side of a back road where people are moving far too fast to even see them. Where conditions are not perfect. Where people are careless and throw their trash out the window. Where they may get trampled on as people run by in a hurry to go somewhere more important.
But there they are. Beautiful. Blooming right where God put them.
 |
| The pretty, little wildflowers I picked on my walk today. They make me smile. |
If I choose to stop and notice these tiny little wildflowers, they brighten my day and fill my world with color. If I choose not to notice them, they are still beautiful and they will still bloom. They will not get their little flower feelings hurt. If I don't stop to notice their beauty, it doesn't make them any less lovely. If I choose to walk right past without recognizing these intricate little flowers God placed there for my pleasure, it is my loss, not theirs.
I hope you see where I'm going with this.
How silly would it be if that little wildflower wanted to be beautiful like a rose, exotic like an orchid or delicate like a gardenia? It can wish and strive all it wants, but it is still a wildflower. It was meant to be a wildflower. It was equipped to live the life of a wildflower. A rose would not survive where a wildflower does, the first frost that comes along would kill it, it needs to be covered and taken care of. An orchid would break under the pressure where wildflowers grow, it needs constant support from something around it. And Gardenias bruise far too easily, they're not as hardy as wildflowers. (These are all just analogies I came up with on my limited knowledge of flowers. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a botanist.)
You see I am (and you may be) like that little wildflower on the side of the road. Beautiful to those that take the time to look, hardy through all circumstances, and blooming where God put me (and you). (Actually, my name, "Heather" is a flower that grows on the bogs and moors where few other flowers grow. When I looked up the origin of my name, it means "flowering," selfless and caring; survives, thrives even in difficult circumstances. I love that.)
Not being noticed or "liked" does not make us any less lovely. If people choose not to notice you, it is their loss. Be beautiful anyway. Be beautiful for your Creator and for yourself. Jesus said, "Love others as well as you love yourself." (Matthew 22:39 Message Bible) You cannot love others if you don't first love yourself.
Learn to like yourself.
I hope you see where I'm going with this.
How silly would it be if that little wildflower wanted to be beautiful like a rose, exotic like an orchid or delicate like a gardenia? It can wish and strive all it wants, but it is still a wildflower. It was meant to be a wildflower. It was equipped to live the life of a wildflower. A rose would not survive where a wildflower does, the first frost that comes along would kill it, it needs to be covered and taken care of. An orchid would break under the pressure where wildflowers grow, it needs constant support from something around it. And Gardenias bruise far too easily, they're not as hardy as wildflowers. (These are all just analogies I came up with on my limited knowledge of flowers. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a botanist.)
You see I am (and you may be) like that little wildflower on the side of the road. Beautiful to those that take the time to look, hardy through all circumstances, and blooming where God put me (and you). (Actually, my name, "Heather" is a flower that grows on the bogs and moors where few other flowers grow. When I looked up the origin of my name, it means "flowering," selfless and caring; survives, thrives even in difficult circumstances. I love that.)
Not being noticed or "liked" does not make us any less lovely. If people choose not to notice you, it is their loss. Be beautiful anyway. Be beautiful for your Creator and for yourself. Jesus said, "Love others as well as you love yourself." (Matthew 22:39 Message Bible) You cannot love others if you don't first love yourself.
Learn to like yourself.
